Are you unsure if your relationship is abusive/unhealthy?

Relationships can be confusing, especially when we’re being abused or manipulated. If you’re not sure if your relationship is healthy or unhealthy, answer yes or no to the following scenarios:

• My partner teases me in a hurtful way in private or in public

• My partner calls me names such as "stupid" or "b*tch"

• My partner acts jealous of my friends, family, or co-workers

• My partner gets angry about clothes I wear or how I style my hair

• My partner checks up on me by calling, driving by, or getting someone else to

• My partner insists on knowing who I talk to on the phone

• My partner blames me for their problems or bad mood

• My partner gets angry easily, leaving me walking on eggshells

• My partner throws or destroys things when angry

• My partner hits walls, drives dangerously or does other things to scare me

• My partner drinks excessively or uses drugs

• My partner insists that I drink or use drugs whenever they do

• My partner accuses me of being interested in someone else

• My partner reads my mail, goes thru my personal space/items (ie. purse)

• My partner keeps me from getting a job or finds ways to cause problems at my job

• My partner keeps money from me, keeps me in debt, or has "money secrets"

• My partner sold my car, made me give up my license, or won't repair my car

• My partner has threatened to hurt me

• My partner has threatened to hurt my children

• My partner has actually hurt my children

• My partner has threatened to hurt my pets

• My partner has actually hurt my pets

• My partner has threatened to hurt my friends or family

• My partner has hurt a friend or family member

• My partner has threatened to commit suicide if I leave

• My partner has struck me with hands or feet - slapped, punched, kicked

• My partner has struck me with an object or threatened me with a weapon

• My partner has given me visible injuries - bruises, welts, cuts

• I have had to administer first aid to myself due to injuries from my partner

• My injuries have been serious enough to seek treatment - doctor, hospital, clinic, paramedic

• My partner forces me to have sex when I don't want to

• My partner forces me to have sex in ways that I don't want to

• My partner has been in trouble with the police

• My partner acts one way in front of others, and another way when we are alone

• My partner is secretive or lies about past relationships

• I feel isolated and alone and have no one I can really talk to

• have lost friends because of my partner/partner's actions

• I no longer see some of my family because of my partner

• I have thought about calling the police because of an incident of violence

• I have actually called the police on one or more occasions

• I am afraid to call the police because of threats from my partner

A few "yes" answers may not indicate an abusive relationship, but if you answered “yes” to half or more of the above questions, please consider calling our hotline at 1.800.359.0056.

Our advocates are available to help you talk through your concerns confidentially and at no cost.